Letter to my World

This is a letter I wrote last night. It started out as a blog, then got converted into a letter to some select people, and the intent to still post as a blog. As I state, feel free to email me anything at Fadingwildcard@gmail.com, or post on the comment link. I'll probably take all the questions and do a FAQ for my next blog, so keep questions and comments a 'coming. With out further ado;

Hey everybody,
Noah here. Some of you I haven't seen in a while. Others I've seen just the other day. Either way I do want to hang with you sometime soon. For those that don't know, in september of 2010 I was diagnosed with cancer on my tongue. It sucked, and I got it removed through an exhaustive surgery. The treatment had a few bumps but it was going cool..., until I was diagnosed with a really nasty case of pneumonia. I didn't really know at the time, but it came very close to killing me. I was in the hospital 2 weeks and then fought hard to get out. Then two  days later I was brought back in an ambulance. Boy howdy was I embarrassed. It ended up that all and all I spent 5 weeks in the hospital for pneumonia. But I got out and was stronger than ever, and with 2 months past the first surgery I was ready to finally start my radiation treatment. But the doc wanted me to put on some weight before I started radiation, because I had lost something like forty pound. So for two weeks life was was a great big pig out. Eating whatever I could chew and getting all my favorite foods (that were easy to chew)! It was awesome, except for the hard time chewing. And I brought my weight up to 125. Unfortunately my mouth started hurting again. And I found out, much to my chagrin, that the cancer was back. Not only was it back, but it had expanded and grafted onto my jawbone.

So fast foreword a bit. My Rabbi, parents and I meet with the surgery doctor. He outlines a surgery that I talk about in my blog. I was initially against it, wanting to go strait to hospice. But I am convinced that the surgery is the best choice all around. So I was on the surgery table just last week and they didn't do it. It turns out the tumor has grown to big. Which is why I wrote this email to all. For those that don't know, I am terminally ill.

Now I'm more or less accepting of that. It kinda bums me out that I will go in a few months, if not a few weeks. Barring any miracle mind you. Which I'm hoping for, just not betting on. Now I'm not asking for much. I don't have energy, and am not really allowed to go on trips. Basically I just want to see and spend time with friends until I go. Celebrate my life as opposed to morning my death. I don't think thats a lot to ask.

So I am sending this out not to bum anybody out. Lots people have drifted closer since they learned of my illnesses, but some friends seemed to drift far away, and in one case has become rather nasty. For all these people, close and far, let me know how i can get closer to you. Even if it's just by chatting online. I set up this email account for that. If you want to read my blog it www.noahvscancer.blogspot.com. And if you have any questions at all I welcome them. Feel free to ask anything and even tell me anything. If you don't want to deal with my problems or hear them at all, just email me that, and I'll take you off this list.

So now I'm starting to ramble. Just to help out my email is fadingwildcard@gmail.com. I really welcome seeing most of you, and I hope to hear from all of you. Lots of love,

--Noah Nacamulli