I miss food. I am constantly assaulted with the aroma of cooked goodies. Everywhere I see people eating. So I don't miss food. I am surrounded by food (I bet lots of people in third world nations had that problem). I miss eating.
Before "the cancer" I ate. It was my favorite activity... well it was in the top five. It was what I did with friends, an excuse to see old friends, and a way to bond with new friends. It was something that I could pick up quickly at a little store and eat on my way, or sit down and relax savoring each bite.I could simultaneously be picky and open minded! I enjoyed fine expensive foods; however sometimes nothing hit home like a good ol' hotdog. And San Francisco is the city to be a foodie. You can find most any kind of cuisine here. New York was good, especially for hours open, but I couldn't find as much variety as San Francisco (I could find no pho). In fact I often find myself day dreaming about foods.
So of course I got tongue cancer. I often lament to myself this is the most torturous of cancers that I could get. Now I don't know how painful or embarrassing other cancers are. I know that others tend to be more life threatening. But if I had testicular cancer I might not have any balls, but I could still eat. I'm not sure how that works with colon cancer. Because after eating I tend to use my colon.
However I now can drink. Sort of.Non-alcoholic. As I only have half my tongue I swallow differently. So as I drink I am relearning to swallow. At least that's the plan. Its a lot harder than I thought it would be. And in two or three weeks I've got to start chemo and radiation. The chemo is going to make it even harder to eat, and the radiation will probably change my sense of taste, or possibly even remove it entirely. So I want to get back to eating as fast as possible.
No comments:
Post a Comment