I'm getting tired of the questions "How's it going?" or "How are you doing?" or any variation thereof. It just seems somewhat redundant to ask me that. First off I can only verbally two ways mhmm (yes) or uh-huh (no). So with me being effectively muted by cancer of the mouth, I can't answer that.
So even if this is emailed to me I never know how to answer this. Should I go into a diatribe about how I actually am? Should I just say fine? Making the best of it? None of those are whole truths about how I am; particularly because I am alright in some ways and not fine in other ways. Such as am I in pain? Well I always have some pain, but recently the pain in my mouth has gotten literally unbearable. So I take several painkillers. Well now I am no longer in as much pain, but I can’t think in a straight line.
This has actually become a real problem of late. I’ll take my painkillers, but then I’ll be so out of it I can’t type (or vocalize) my problem. Beyond that when someone asks me a question I’ll often forget it right away. Of drift off to sleep half way through the answer. This becomes a real problem right after I’ve “eaten” (translation: pumped nutritional supplements into my body, often laced with painkillers). Because after I’ve eaten, I can’t lay down for at least a half an hour. So I’ll go online and just chat with friends.
So as I’m IMing (instant messaging) with various friends I’ll lose the ability to concentrate, type, and stay awake for a conversation. Ok well that was my random rant. Thanks for listening. Er… reading.
i say, just say whatever you feel like at that moment! If you lose your train of thought or doze off during a chat, we will have to deal with it.
ReplyDeleteI know I always ask you that. Sometimes I don't know what else to say. Mostly I really want to know (even if the answer isn't pretty or pleasant). It's hard to text on this stupid old fashioned phone Felicia has (shouldn't complain as I don't have a cell phone at all). It basically turns our conversations into short hastily text-ed chit-chat. Mostly I just want you to know I'm thinking of you, and that I'm trying to be as supportive as I know how to be.
ReplyDeleteNow you get it. ;)
ReplyDeleteI find the irony gives me a warm sense of vicarious satisfaction. I don't even want to explore the psychology behind it. =)
ReplyDeleteJust let the others ask you "How's it going" or "How do you feel" or everything else.
ReplyDeleteNo one will never know how you really are, what you really feel and you wll never be able to explain it.
I'm sure that these things are known only by the people who lived it.
But is my english understandable (not my ideas...)
Raffaella